Friday, August 20, 2010

go see "Piranha 3D"

Somebody needs to get fired over this.

THIS movie should've been screening for weeks before it came out, just to get word out about all the "you've got to see this" insanity of it. Instead they barely even showed it to critics. Fools.

Anyway, just got back from it and it's AWESOME - an authentic, no-bullshit splatterfest thats all about how much gore, blood, over-the-top death scenes and gratuitously-naked gorgeous women it can wring out of it's thin premise (school of prehistoric super-piranha versus a lake full of Spring Break kids.)

I literally could not name a single film recently in theaters that spills as much onscreen blood in it's whole running time as THIS one does during it's extended ten-minute "piranha attack partygoers" sequence.

Riley Steel and Kelly Brook perform a nude underwater dance/lesbian sex-act with one another. For like two or three solid minutes. IN 3D. It is literally the single finest argument on behalf of the 3D format ever produced.

Ving Rhames essentially becomes the Bruce-Campbell-as-Ash of cinematic fish-fighters.

A speedboat drives through/over a crowd of several-dozen swimmers.

Christopher Lloyd is in it. So is Richard Dreyfuss. They are both awesome.

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