David O. Russell to seek Drake's Fortune

Oh, for the love of...

Y'know if someone was to make a list of video-games that ABSOLUTELY DO NOT NEED TO BE MADE INTO MOVIES, surely the "Uncharted" franchise would be right up there. Actually, thinking back on it, I DID make a list... and yeah, "Uncharted" was on it.

Back when I wrote that, an "Uncharted: Drake's Fortune" movie was already being prepped with director and anger-managment-dropout David O. Russell set to helm once he'd finished up his Boston-Area boxing movie, "The Fighter" - which incidentally looks very good; though unfortunately I can already feel myself getting sick of the near-religious REVERENCE it's going to elicit from every tempermental whiteboy hoodlum in my general vicinity when it comes out. (Yeah, America? I know we're all in loooooove with Jeremy Renner in "The Town" but, trust me - in reality "that guy" gets soooo old after a few minutes.)



Heh. That's Christian Bale in there as Mark Whalberg's brother. What would you give to have been a fly on the wall had Russell pulled any of that "Huckabees" crap on his notoriously short-fused ass? Given that Russell reported has all of his extremities still attached, one has to assume they got on well enough...

In any case, "Uncharted" seemingly faded when Russell left to make "Pride & Prejudice & Zombies" - but now he's quit that, too, and now THR says he's signed back on to bringing Nathan Drake to the screen. Fuck.

For those blissfully unaware, "Uncharted" is an Indiana Jones (if Dr. Jones lived in the present-day and were a complete douchebag) knockoff noteworthy mainly for graphics and for being among the rare non-Kratos-related PS3 exclusives anyone gives a damn about. The series is built around Nathan Drake; who distinguishes himself by being the single most emminently-hateable ostensible "good guy" in video game history outside maybe that dog from Duck-Hunt.

Egh...

So... this is how it's gonna be, huh, Hollywood? Before I even get close to seeing a proper Mario, Luigi, Link, Zelda, Bowser, Ganon, Kirby, Sonic, Donkey Kong, Samus or any of a thousand video game personas more deserving of cinematic realization onscreen... I have to get Nathan FUCKING Drake first. Great. Super. Can't fuckin' wait.

The search will now be on for the "right" actor for the lead, as the filmmakers go through the motions of pretending that Nathan Drake can't just be played by any generic young-ish white guy.