Tea Party Now Believes Manatees To Be Agents of Sinister United Nations Coup

Via Gawker

A Florida chapter of scientifically-illiterate, hyperreligious paranoid xenophobes The Citrus County Tea Party Patriots have uncovered yet another threat to The United States of Christopia: MANATEES. American Conservatives' endless quest to make the bad guys from "Captain Planet" look nuanced by comparison marches on...



Edna Mattos, the "leader" of the Citrus County Tea Party Patriots has launched a campaign to oppose increased protections on edangered Manatees in King's Bay:

"We cannot elevate nature above people," explained Edna Mattos, 63, leader of the Citrus County Tea Party Patriots, in an interview. "That's against the Bible and the Bill of Rights."

It's also, of course, all part of the conspiracy by the United Nations - that scaaaaary organization of untrustworthy Europeans and Brown People who want to take your guns and Bibles - to take over the world through environmental regulations. Mattos explains:

"We believe that (federal regulators') aim is to control the fish and wildlife, in addition to the use of the land that surrounds this area, and the people that live here and visit. … As most of us know, this all ties in to the United Nations' Agenda 21 and Sustainability."

"Agenda 21" is a largely symbolic, essentially-unenforcable U.N. resolution (so, in other words, a U.N. resolution) from 1992 to encourage environmentally-responsible development. Nobody cared about it (again, U.N. resolution) until Glenn Beck convinced his acolytes that it was evidence of "the plan."