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Lollipop Chainsaw

Many of you have already seen this, but just in case: here's what happens when Suda51 (creator of "No More Heroes" and "Killer 7") and James Gunn (writer/director of "Sliver" and "Super") team up to make a video game that resembles an anime-infused parody of "Buffy"...



I think what makes this perfect is the rainbow/sprinkle stuff - like it's rubbing the absurdity of the "hot chick monster slayer" fetish in the faces of it's usual intended audience.

Your Hillariously Horrible Billboard of The Day

Hat-tip Gawker and KVUE

Republican activists trying for some outreach into the black community? Good thing, in theory.


Republican activists trying for some outreach into the black community through retro-terrible billboard advertising a website whose domain name means "angry giant animal from Africa?" Good thing... for anyone running against Republicans in the near future.

Your Useless Batman News of The Day

I don't know if there's a "scoop" more pointless in the world of movies than the "official synopsis" of a movie whose premise is already know to everyone; but studios keep doing them and we keep acting like it's a big deal.

Comicbookmovie claims to have the "official synopsis" of "The Dark Knight Rises," in any case. No surprises, reveals or anything like that; though it's interesting that Batman and Bane are referred to as "Batman" and "Bane" while Catwoman is simply called "the enigmatic Selina Kyle." As ever, I'd be surprised if we ever hear the word "Catwoman" spoken in the film other than as a side joke about how 'silly' it would be.

Escape to the Movies: "In Time"

It's good.

"Intermission" is about "Anonymous," which is kind of excellent and shouldn't be missed if it's limited release plays near you.

Stooges Revealed

It's worrisome that they look like dead-ringers for the real thing; because it suggests they went for "looks like" over "can do the bits."

Big Picture: "Demon Seed"

Let's See More of THIS, Huh?

Below, the trailer for the downloadable XBLA/PSN title "War of The Worlds" - which adapts H.G. Wells' original version of the story into the format of a 2D sidescoller leaning heavily on the "alien lights in pitch-darkness" visual scheme. Yes, please.

"Assassin's Creed" Movie Imminent

Sony and Ubisoft's movie division (STILL kind of amazed that of all the game companies to start their own full-on movie arm Ubisoft was first out of the gate...) have reportedly registered a buttload of domain-names that all point to the all-but-innevitable announcement of a movie based on the "Assassin's Creed" video games.

For a change, THIS is a "recent" game series I'm actually pretty interested in seeing moved up to the big screen. It's got a really interesting setup (spoilers for anyone who hasn't played the games after the jump) a setting that isn't done to death in either medium and a nifty visual aesthetic. The big question is... how much of this actually gets filmmed?
SPOILERS for the games from here on out!

See, the "everybody knew" (from the advertising) part of the first Assassin's Creed was that you were playing as a Crusades-era assassin; which is interesting enough... but right off the bat the actual game threw you a wicked curveball - the story actually STARTS in the present/near-future, where an ordinary guy is being held prisoner by a secret organization who're using Matrix-esque technology to dig around in his brain for "genetic memories" relating to a centuries-spanning conspiracy that involved his ancestor; the medieval assassin you play as in the game-proper.

Along with just being COOL, this structure also served as an ingenious handwave for the story to leap around from mission to mission and eventually from time-to-time - the sequel invovled a different ancestor and was set in Rennaissance Italy. (It was also helpfully in getting me to maintain a state of "give-a-shit;" as I tire of "go here, fetch this, go there, kill this guy" open-world gameplay rather quickly on it's own.

So, here's my questions: Do they keep the same "flashback" structure? Do they start in the Crusades or later? Both? Will the really, really, REALLY big "wait... WHAT!?" business from the end of the sequel get dropped much earlier? One thing that damn near goes without saying - the same actor will almost-certainly be cast as "present guy" and "past guy," and I'd be unsurprised to see the film do A LOT more skipping between past and present - as it is, the game story (yet unfinished) seems to be leading toward Desmond ("present guy") taking up his family legacy in a modern context... maybe the film will get there right off the bat - or at least for the finale?

Disney's "Sin City"

I feel like the "moment" has passed for a "Sin City" sequel. The gimmick more-or-less got well covered by the first one, and Frank Miller's innability to avoid being a giant cockbag has tainted pretty-much everything associated with him - even stuff from before 9/11 broke his brain.

That said, THIS is made of win.

Escape to the Movies: "Green Lantern: Extended Cut"

Because Paranormal Activity 3 and Three Musketeers weren't shown to critics, that's why.

Intermission is about animal movies.

Fuzz Buzz Harshed

Walt Disney's obsession with maintaining the pixie-sprinkled "Magic Kingdom" facade of his corporate empire - up to and including forbidding cartoon voice-actors to publically admit that the characters weren't "real" for fear of angering children - is the stuff of legends. His methods may have been extreme, but they were more than mere eccentricity. Walt understood, like few before or after him, the power of having an audience see the purveyor of their entertainment as a figure of innate, intangible goodness as opposed to "just" a business.

Someone else who understood that - albeit while operating on a smaller plane and aesthetic - was Jim Henson. If you've ever seen the behind-the-scenes materials associated with his Muppet productions, you understand how hard he and his people worked to make their intricate artistry look like an effortless, hippie-infused "groove."

One imagines if either man were reading these headlines, they'd be instantly reminded WHY they so carefully managed public image. Apparently there's been serious bad-blood in the production of the new "Muppets" movie; and it's just spilled out into the open. That spinning sound you hear is Disney P.R. reps, getting ready to justify the existance of their jobs...

The big "hook" of the new Muppet movie is that it's an in-narrative relaunch of the franchise: The Muppets have broken up at some point in the last decade (the last feature movie was in 1999) and are being reunited "Blues Brothers" by a starstruck fan.

Jason Segel, who plays the human sidekick to said fan (a new Muppet named Walt. Heh) and real-life Muppet fanatic, is the driving force behind the new film, which is also the first to be set up entirely by new the Muppet owners at Disney. That's ALL new territory for the remaining members of the "original" Henson Muppet-crew, who'd previously done everything including writing and directing "in-house, so there were always going to be bumps to be worked out. Unfortunately, it sounds as though "worked out" didn't fully happen.

In an interview two days ago with Metro, Muppet O.G. Frank Oz dropped a bombshell: The reason he's not back as the voice of Miss Piggy in this new film is that he didn't like the script... and that he felt it "disrespected the characters." That's nightmare-scenario stuff for Muppet diehards, who've feared that Disney would overhaul the signature Hensonian soul out of the characters since they were first purchased. The Hollywood Reporter followed up on the story (and nicely summarized the difficulty the franchise has suffered over the last decade) and uncovered that a substantial number of the longtime Muppet crew felt the same way - up to an including wanting to take their names off the film.

So... yeah. So much for the "happy happy fan film" vibe this had been selling itself on so far. THIS would be why guys like Disney and Henson wanted to keep corporate shenanigans as far in the background of their projects as possible.

On the one hand, one wants to "side" with the originators on things like these. On the other hand, the issues raised (risque jokes, altered characterization) sound more than a little like overprotectiveness and resistance to new blood. Deep as my respect for Team Henson runs, it can't really be ignored that the franchise was on a long downswing after "Muppet Christmas Carol;" and the last "in-house" feature "Muppets From Space" just wasn't all that good. Also, some extra information in the THR article - namely that Oz was actually developing a Muppet-reboot of his own that got sidelined in favor of "it-guy" Segel's pitch - casts some of the reaction in a different light altogether.

Batman in Nanking

Hat-tip to Hollywood-Elsewhere

Below, the trailer for Zhang Yimou's "Flowers of War," innevitably to be less-pleasantly known as "The Rape of Nanking Movie." The most expensively-mounted film in mainland Chinese history; it's a historical epic about the Japanese occupation of Nanking during the Second Sino-Japanese War in 1937. The main story focuses on a group of Chinese prostitutes who volunteer to swap-places with schoolgirls who've been selected to be sex slaves for the occupying Japanese army. Christian Bale has the ostensible lead as a Priest organizing refugee support efforts and, of perhaps equal importance, existing as an English-speaking white guy to help hold the hands of Western audiences potentially frightened away by all the funny words and dark faces...



Seriously, this looks REALLY good and the material has never really been done this big and attention-getting before... but it's JUST a little bit depressing that even a Chinese-made film from Yimou feels the need to do the Edward Zwick "White hero" thing - yes, even if the character in question was a real guy.

In any case, "Flowers" is now officially China's entry in this year's "Best Foriegn Language" Oscar category, though it won't open in China until December with a U.S. run yet to be determined.

Big Picture: "Night of the Lepus"

JJ Abrams to Produce "Micronauts" for Paramount

A part of me wants to automatically give the benefit of the doubt to movies based on toys just to counterbalance all the critics/commentators who still act like the very IDEA of these projects is an affront to the medium itself. There's no reason you can't make a decent movie out of a toy franchise with the right people working on it; even if that hasn't happened much so far.

In any case, Paramount and Hasbro - still swimming in cash from their awful yet awfully-successful "Transformers" movies - have tapped JJ Abrams and the hot writing due from "Zombieland" to put together a feature/franchise based on the late-70s/early-80s "MICRONAUTS" figure line. I'm indifferent to Abrams at this point, but the Zombieland dudes are good people.

This is where this story get's kind of interesting, in a "convoluted corporate politics of Hollywood way..

Okay, so... "Micronauts" actually date from before the idea of assinging some semblance of a storyline to toy lines; so initially they didn't really have a "universe" beyond character names and assingments of good/bad. The line was actually the U.S. import of Japan's mega-popular "Microman" figures (themselves a spinoff of a Japanese robot-version of the G.I. Joe molds toy history is a fucking RABBIT HOLE!) and the big hook was that they were modular; i.e. you could pop some of the arms/legs/etc off the figures and their vehicles and swap them around in new combinations. Some of said vehicles actually got repurposed into some of the G1 Transformers (RABBIT HOLE!!!)



The line got a story when Marvel Comics writer Bill Mantlo saw his son playing with them and convinced his bosses to license the rights. It was Mantlo who created (with some inspiration from the original Microman backstory) the characterizations for the Micronauts; along with a pretty keen story gimmick: The Micronauts themselves hail from a "Microverse," and when their epic Star Wars-esque struggle spills over to Earth they find themselves to be the proportionate size of the "Micronauts" action figures. That's kind of brilliant, really, and would still be a killer movie hook for today - hey kids, your toys ARE The Micronauts!!!

BUT that's probably not the story (at least not exactly) that the new Hasbro/Paramount film will be working from, even if it wanted to - see, most of the original-to-the-comics stuff that Mantlo came up with is still owned by Marvel, which in turn is owned by rival movie studio Disney. In fact, several of the Mantlo-reworked characters are still kicking around the Marvel Universe, albeit with any official Micronauts branding discreetly stripped away. At least one of them is actually supposed to be part of the new "Gaurdians of The Galaxy;" which Marvel is angling to be a movie of it's own down the line.

So... eventually someone takes another whack at He-Man, right? That happens before this all topples over?

Wise Guys

Pictured: The teaser poster for the Farrelly Bros. upcoming "Three Stooges" update.

Y'know, it's not so much that I'm amazed that the Farrelly's and a succession of studios and producers somehow decided it was a good idea to make NOT a movie "about" the actual Three Stooges but instead a modern-day comedy with new actors (Sean Hayes, Will Sasso and Chris Diamantopolous) playing new incarnations of Moe, Larry and Curly. That's all perfectly believable Hollywood behavior at this point.

No, what's amazing is that this isn't a "new" project... the Farrelly's have been trying to make this movie - which NOBODY thinks is a good idea and ever FEWER people want to see - for over a decade now. I mean... Wow.

The film itself is due to be dumped in theaters April 4th. Below the jump, my favorite bit from the ACTUAL Stooges, "A Plumbing We Will Go" (1940)...






Escape to the Movies: "The Thing (2011)"

It sucks. But you knew that.

"Intermission" breaks down the "Avengers" trailer.

This Means Suck

Below, the trailer for "This Means War;" in which two CIA agent pals (Tom Hardy and Chris Pine) learn they're both dating Reese Witherspoon and... well, the title and such...



Oh yeah, let's all get in line for that, huh?

Anyone remember why I'm supposed to be exicted to see Chris Pine in ANYTHING? He was terrible in "Star Trek," and generally has all the charisma of the block of wood for which he is named (easy joke, I know, but still...)

For that matter, what happened to the new "Trek" reviving that franchise, again? Remember, that was supposed to happen? Movie made a bunch of money, reviews skewed pretty positive, and yet... Trek doesn't seem to be "back" at all. It's not hard to tell when a franchise is "hot" these days; and any objective read of Star Trek's pop-culture presence can tell you it's back to being as cold as when "Enterprise" went off the air. Where's the excitement, in the fandom or otherwise? The web is full-to-bursting with casting-rumor and "conceptual" fanart of every minor figure who MIGHT possibly show up in an "Avengers" sequel, but NOBODY is talking about who or what turns up in JJ Abrams Trek sequels.

Yeah, I didn't much care for the movie myself, but just looking at things objectively it seems to have COMPLETELY failed in it's mission-statement to make "Star Trek" a vital part of the cultural discussion again, no?

Is "Act of Valor" the Movie the "Call of Duty" Generation Has Been Waiting For?

Here's a production-backstory that will make some people kinda queasy and others kinda thrilled:

"Act of Valor" supposedly began life as a bigger-budget-than-usual, up-to-date Navy SEAL recruitment film; but was reworked into a "traditional" feature film (one has to assume public-interest in the SEALs following the killing of bin Laden played a part, yes?) and is now being released in February by Relativity Media. The Navy still seems to have "signed off" on the project, though - so all the gear, tech and tactics are as authentic as possible and (most interestingly of all) the main hero-cast are played by actual SEAL members.

Big Picture: "War of The Gargantuas"

Before anyone asks: YES, I'm aware that James Rolfe - aka "The Angry Nintendo Nerd" did this one as part of HIS October Monster Movies series yesterday last year.

People should go watch James' anyway, though - his work for Cinemassacre deserves to be at least as widely seen as his AVGN material.

First "Avengers" Trailer Hits

I'm predisposed to be irrationally excited for "The Avengers" because of what it represents: The idea of comic-style shared-universe "continuity" - the type that blurs through arbitrary genre lines by suggesting that "real" characters and "fantasy" characters exist side-by-side - become part of "movie language" is one of the wish-dreams of the Geek Age. If this works, everything changes.

That the film actually looks really good - with actors who came to play and a sharp script already evident - is quite a relief, though...



First teaser is a little Iron Man heavy, but that's not surprising since his main selling point - he's "the funny one" - doesn't require any finished FX. It's hard to get a good read on the big picture of it; since it's obviously unfinished footage (no color-correction, people shooting guns at empty space, cars being blown up by nothing) but so far I'm encouraged.

Occupation

Reprinted below is a comment I was in the process of leaving on a talkback about the "Occupy Wall Street" movement on BAD as word was coming down (and continues to come down) that protesters at Occupy Boston are being beaten and overwhelmed by the Boston Police. Not a good night here, obviously...

From me:
These things are always tough for me, in the macro, because my commitment to clear reason (call it "cynicism" if you like) doesn't permit me to dial-back my overall-negative assessment of humanity when it's a swath of humanity I'm sympathetic too; as is the case here.


My cold-water-in-the-face "read" of this "Occupy" business is that it IS the "left" version of the Mark I "Tea Party" business: largely fueled by not-particularly-sharp folks with a simple-to-nonexistent grasp of politics getting smacked in the face all at once by the realization that The System is FUCKED and reacting by focusing the blame on whatever their vague political/personal prejudices already had them seeing as The Bad Guys - i.e. the Teabaggers reflexively blamed minorities, gays, non-christians and foriegners; the kids at Occupy reflexively blamed "Corporate America." Yes, the INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT distinction is that "Occupy Wall Street's" choice of bad guy actually IS The Bad Guy; but I'm unable to fully "get down" for the romanticism of it. I don't "like" looking at it that way - as I'm typing this, the news is coming in that the Occupy Boston crowd is getting savaged by the cops and I'm pissed as HELL about it - but there you go.


THAT SAID...


Just as the Teabaggers hadn't existed for long before they became (largely) unwitting-dupe mercenaries for the GOP; if these kids can hold out maybe, just maybe, some form of leadership can either emerge-from or "hook up" with them and they can be an instrument of ensuring the all-important goal of preventing "conservatives" from attaining one more shred of power or influence until the ability of their policies and beliefs to do lasting damage has been permanently (constitutionally?) shielded against.


I know whose side I'm on.

I stand by that, overall - being unromantic about something doesn't mean you can't be sympathetic toward it and vice-versa. Is "Occupy Wall Street" primarily just vauge, petulant anger at "the man?" Yes, I think it is. Is there any kind of important, cogent political/philosophical "point" to be had from it? Not really, no. BUT! Are they are at least aiming their anger in the right direction? YES. Should they be getting bludgeoned by cops? NO. Do they have my support, whatever little it's worth? ABSOLUTELY.

"It's Not For Women"

One is given to understand that the Dr. Pepper people are "kidding" here. Regardless, this has to be one of the stupidest commercials in a long time...

I Don't Want To Live On This Planet Anymore

Via Gawker (EDIT: and The Escapist, which just ran this as I was also typing it up and where someone just made the same Futurama joke)

I have moments of weakness wherein I start to feel "bad" about my own intellectual-elitism... or, at the very least, feel like maybe I shouldn't be that quick to condemn the anti-intellectualism of present-day humanity. After all, "the people" cannot possibly be as dumb as I think they are, right?

Thankfully, something always comes along to remind me that it's just not possible to set the bar too low: A woman in Michigan is suing the distributors of "Drive" for misleading advertisting - specifically, she feels that she was promised "The Fast & The Furious" (no, really - she name-checks F&F in the lawsuit!) by the trailers; and that the actual film failed to deliver. She also claims that the film is anti-semitic, presumably based on scenes where a Jewish character uses "the K word" to complain about anti-semites calling him "the K word."

Ugh. I just... just... UGH...

Good for a laugh, obviously - especially when you start to wonder where this person found a lawyer when she apparently does not own a computer, phone, television, newspaper or any of the other hundreds of ways to look up what a movie is about before you see it; but frankly the idea that ANY lawyer considers this case actionable creeps the hell out of me.

The "misleading trailer" is one of the few weapons good movies have in a market where the audience is ready-and-willing to punish good movies for not living down to their expectations. Fair or not, boxoffice matters and "tricking" Michael Bay's America into occasionally shelling out for something worthwhile is one of the main ways "worthwhile" can still turn a profit.

Movies are bland enough already because studios are afraid that even appearing  to offend or challenge the sensibilities of Joe & Jane McNormal will lead to a lowered boxoffice take - how much worse will it be if they're afraid of being sued because what they've made didn't bear enough resemblance to a fucking Vin Diesel vehicle?

I used to be a movie theater usher, and occasionally had to help "negotiate" infuriated customers in such situations until the manager came over to hand them their "shut up and go away" freebie-tickets. I recall one weekend in particular where much of my evenings were spent glibly asking people if they in fact realized that the movie they'd bought a ticket for was called "SIN City."

GAME OVERTHINKER is now part of SCREWATTACK ADVANTAGE!

SHORT VERSION: Please consider going here and signing up, if so inclined.

Full disclosure: Yes, this is basically an advertisement. I don't love doing that, but I love being broke even less. Also, I'm no-bullshit very enthusiastic about "special benefit" subscriptions like this as the proper path for professional websites. So, here's the deal:

As of today, "The Game OverThinker" is part of ScrewAttack.com's "Advantage Program;" which allows subscribers ($3.95 monthly, $40.00 yearly) to see a largely ad-free version of the site and to see certain videos earlier than non-subscribers. Here's how this applies to THIS show and how, if you so choose, it can apply to you:

When/if a user signs up for "Advantage," which you can do RIGHT HERE, there is a drop-down menu that allows them to pick which series has primarily motivated them to sign up or visit the site in general. Whichever show you pick (you only get to pick one and ONCE, so be careful) gets a cut of the profits from the subscription fees. So... yes. If you're a fan or supporter of the show, this is a concrete tangible way for you to show it directly and get access to cool stuff from one of the web's better gaming sites. I'm thrilled to be part of this, and I would truly deeply appreciate any and all fans who'd consider signing up and being part of this.

REMEMBER! It's very important that you select "The Game OverThinker" from the "PICK THE SHOW YOU WERE REFERRED BY" drop-down menu, and it cannot be changed afterwards so click carefully!

Don't worry - you will still be able to watch the show if you don't sign up, though eventually it might be a few days after subscribers do. I want to preemptively thank any fans who DO choose to sign up, and all fans in general who've helped get the show to this point. Thank you ALL :)

Escape to the Movies: "Real Steel"

It's actually really good. I'm as surprised as you are.

"Intermission" speaks on Mortal Kombat...

Remember When This Would've Automatically Been Good News?

HitFix's Drew McWeeny and THR have two news items up about Johnny Depp casting - one a new project, another that's been in development for awhile. Both of them would've sounded MUCH more intriguing back before Depp had Pirates4 and Alice In Wonderland in his recent-filmography. But, then, who knows?

First, the more interesting of the two: A biopic of Theodor Geisel, better known as Dr. Seuss. That I want to see regardless of whom they cast.

Secondly, his long-gestating do-over of Dashiell Hammett's "The Thin Man," a detective franchise previously adapted into a mega-popular film series starring William Powell and Myrna Loy. This is the one that has "red flag" written all over it. The basic setup is an uber-wealthy married couple, Nick and Nora Charles, who solve crimes and mysteries more-or-less for shits and giggles. The "gimmick?" They're both functional alcoholics, doing their thing while constantly sauced - the book and films having originated in the era before over-drinking was thought of as a "problem" for the upper-class. So... yeah, you can already see what the danger is: It'd be very, VERY easy for this to turn into "Jack Sparrow but as a 40s crimesolver."

I'm curious as to how they plan to translate ANY of it. The original films hold up remarkably well, but it's still pretty jarring how "cute" they play Nick and Nora's vices (seriously - go watch one of the first four or five of these, they really put it away) for modern eyes. I'm not sure that really "works" anymore. The original "Arthur" was the last real 'eccentric rich alcoholism is adorable' movie, and famous MAAD appeared one year later and "Arthur 2" just wasn't as funny.

Steve Jobs: 1955 - 2011

I was never a regular consumer of Steve Jobs' or Apple's products. I have some, but I'm a longstanding PC user and was never down with the iEverything lifestyle. Not my thing. And I was also never part of the Jobs-As-Techno-Prophet hagiography.

That being said, two things simply cannot be denied in the wake of his passing:


1. Jobs, along with the other ground-zero innovators of the home-computing movement, are responsible for creating the world we are in today. Whatever else he may have been, Steve Jobs was one of those rare individuals whose vision and drive to realize it dragged the rest of humanity's sorry ass across the yardlines of cultural evolution. Those who read/watch my stuff know that I am unabashedly glad to live in The Age of The Nerd, where each day makes the intelligent, the creative and tech saavy more and more vital to the world as the brutish and the pre-mechanization "strong" more and more obsolete; and I know that I owe a great deal of the thanks for this Age to Jobs. His name, unquestionably, belongs next to Edison, Ford and the other Titans who built the modern world.

2. Anyone dying in their mid-50s sucks, but a great thinker and creator dying so soon is a fucking tragedy. I know that, for a lot of people, there's something poignant or even "just" about the idea that cancer especially and death/disease in general "not caring" how important the afflicted is - "we're all equal in God's eyes" and all that. Honestly, I've never found that sentiment particularly comforting and certainly can't see what's "just" about it. Someone like Steve Jobs changed the entire world multiple times in just a few decades, how much further would we have moved ahead if he'd had a few more? There's no "balance" in that... no "great mystery." The whims of fate, destiny, whatever aren't things we should happily going along with - we should treat them like obstacles to be overcome. To me, that's what makes sense.

Full "War Horse" Trailer

The titular hero of "War Horse," a farm horse conscripted into the army during World War I who tries to fight his way back to his rightful owner, will benefit from being immediately sympathetic and likable just by virtue of existing. People will see the horse, people will like the horse, anyone who is good to the horse we will also like, anyone who is bad to the horse is worse than Hitler and we will hate them and cheer for their violent defeat... all without the star of the film having to utter a single line of dialogue.

With Steven Spielberg directing, Janusz Kaminsky shooting and John Williams scoring; you could probably say the same thing about the movie - everything from the setting to the subject matter to their prior collaborations is in-their-element, Tommy-at-the-pinball-machine stuff for this crew...



Some folks are already calling this an Oscar frontrunner and potentially Spielberg's biggest hit in awhile. I see no reason to doubt either calculation.

"One Shot" Just Became Worth Watching

Aquaintances of mine who're fans of (or at least familiar with) Lee Childs' "Jack Reacher" books are, I'm given to understand, immensely unhappy with the casting of Tom Cruise as the lead in Christopher McQuarrie's adaptation of "One Shot," the first official movie adaptation of the series about a former Military Police Major turned ass-kicking vigilante drifter; possibly because Reacher is described as a 6'5 heavily-built hardass and Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise.

I doubt the following news will necessarily change their minds, as Cruise still sounds fairly miscast, but the film has definitely jumped to the top of the hardcore film-geek must-see list: Variety reports that legendary director Werner Herzog has signed on to ACT in the film as the main bad guy. Holy Shit!

"The Lady"

On paper, "The Lady" sounds like a snoozer - a Western biopic of an Eastern (Southeast-Asian, specifically) human-rights martyr timed for an Oscar-qualifying Fall release.

Two things make it worth paying attention to (for reasons other than the obvious sympathy/admiration for Aung San Suu Kyi, of course, which is an issue wholly-seperate from the movie) - it's directed by Luc Besson, who "gets" that biopics of icons don't need to be ponderous and staid; and it's a non-action star vehicle for the great Michelle Yeoh.

The Big Picture: "Frankenstein Conquers The World"

This Things I Believe

I am sometimes asked to explain how/why it is I don't go about referring to myself specifically as a political "libertarian" anymore; usually in the context of an accusation that I (and others) mainly dropped it because it's been adopted by the so-called "Tea Party" and thus no longer "cool" - which, to be fair, is at least partially accurate...


The thing of it is; while I am mostly simpatico with "small-L" libertarians on policy and civics details, where we seem to differ is when it comes down to broader worldview.

Simply stated, it strikes me that "name-brand" Libertarianism as it exists now is about "freedom" in general but regards absolutist ECONOMIC freedom - in the form of low-to-nonexistant taxation - as the most important form thereof. And while I'm as averse to wasteful spending as anyone I can't quite go there with them. Entertained as I am by the fantasies of "Atlas Shrugged," Galt's Gulch (or Rapture, for that matter) is not my vision of a better world.

The "better world" I'M striving for is a world free not from the frequently irritating but largely practical economic limitations of a shared society; but rather freed from the unnecessary boundaries of outdated systems of "morality" and/or "consequences" rendered no-longer-mandatory by science.

To place it in less flowery language: My "highest freedoms" are the freedom of individuals to eat, drink, smoke, shoot WHATEVER they want (with the ALL IMPORTANT caveats of adulthood and responsibility) and to fuck, marry, divorce WHOEVER they want (with the ALL-IMPORTANT caveats of adulthood, consent, sound-mind, etc) impeded by as few unnecessary consequences as possible; and if a tax-funded "social safety net" is part of the aparatus necessary to make such freedom-from-unecessary-consequence possible... then, quite frankly, Uncle Sam can HAVE my goddamn money.

I dunno if there's a "name for that position, but it's mine.

New "Mortal Kombat" Director Proudly Declares Intent to Do Everything Wrong

Well, that didn't take long.

Hero Complex has a short interview up with Kevin Tancharoen, currently living the dream of every fan-film maker (except, y'know, for the part about already being a professional film director) after his "Mortal Kombat" YouTube short (nobody is buying that the short was "accidentally" made public, yes?) got him put in charge of the new "Mortal Kombat" movie.

I'd joke that the piece reads like something I'd draft as a parody of everything wrong with genre film; but in this case it actually reads like a parody of everything wrong with genre film I already did.


It'd be tacky to repost the whole (short) article, so here are the choice bits (in boldface) from Tanchroen's mouth:

"Yes, my sensibilities lean more toward realism as opposed to the more mythological stuff that Mortal Kombat automatically has."

Kill me now.

"It will be more realistic and gritty than the last two movies, but also a very big story."

I don't even know what these words mean anymore...

"I want it to be bloody, but in a natural sense and not gratuitous, crazy spurting pools of blood. That takes it to a different level of camp."

So, basically the only thing that originally distinguised the property - and the number one thing people agreed was missing from every earlier version - he doesn't want to do. This is up there with the stories Kevin Smith tells about Jon Peters wanting Superman to never fly or wear his costume.

Well, at the very least he's not shameless enough to name-drop Christopher Nolan - the go to "justifier" for this sort of thing. Oh, wait...

"Chris Nolan started the trend of making everything in this type of genre grounded."

Someone needs to draft a special Guiness World Record for being the best movie ever to have an almost-entirely negative effect on it's genre and just hand it to "The Dark Knight" at this point.

"What took most people by surprise with my shorts, I think, is that you never would think of putting Mortal Kombat in a realistic setting."

Imagine that...

"But I believe it’s a fighting game and it’s meant for that purpose."

I'm not even kidding here: If anyone has an english-language translation of what the hell that sentence is supposed to mean, I want to hear it.

What's kind of infuriating is that, for the same bargain-basement price Warners is almost-certainly getting Tancharoen for, a producer who actually gave a shit about this material could've likely scooped up a mid-level action guy from the Hong Kong, Korean or even Japanese set that actually knows how to do this sort of thing. (Takeshi Miike could probably knock the best Mortal Kombat movie ever out in a weekend.)

Then again, maybe it'll be good. Just this last week a movie I'd been fully-prepared to despise - with very good reason - turned out to be shockingly good (as in "this is pretty good, and I am shocked by this") so who knows? Either way, I look forward to hearing the usual off-topic reminders that no video game originating prior to 2001 deserves to be a movie - don't let me down, kiddies ;)
 
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