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Lipstick on a pig

Yeesh...
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/wireStory?id=5766012

Barack, Barack, Barack... y'know how you fell into this one? Someone on your within the last week showed you some data about how poorly you're connecting with "rural voters," so you decided to start peppering your delivery with redneck coloquialisms that you don't generally use in conversation and are thus likely to mis-use. Don't do that again. The only Democrat who could get away with the "Don't be afraid, I'm a bit of a hillbilly too!" bit was Bill Clinton... because it was TRUE. You're a black Liberal Democrat from the North... NOBODY who'd be inclined to feel linguistic-kinship with someone who uses the phrase "You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig" was EVER going to vote for you.

This guy...

I'm gonna take a stab in the dark that most of my readership probably isn't fond of Sarah Palin. Can't say I'm entirely enamored myself. I do, however, have kind of a feeling that her husband Todd is the next breakout "fun" character from the Election Show; which needs a new one, now that those lovable Clintons are off on their spinoff series (they'll be playing two insanely-powerful political masterminds covertly destroying their own party's candidate for long-term personal gain. I smell a smash.)

For a visual-refresher, here they are:
http://multimedia.heraldinteractive.com/images/923d3f82a2_palin.jpg

Y'know what I like about this guy? In every photo, he's ALWAYS got an expression like she just signed them both up a year of weekly ballroom-dancing lessons without asking him first. I dunno, I just get the sense that this fella is gonna be a goldmine of press-conference-generating 'oopsie' quotes. (Oh please please please PLEASE let him have colorful drinkin' buddies with big mouths!)

Incidentally, don't bother with "Bangkok Dangerous," it's just not very good. They missed the whole point of why you use Nicholas Cage in generic 'insert-actor-here' roles: Because he's a nutty, "ticky" actor who makes such roles bearable. It doesn't WORK if you don't let him be weird about it. Here you've got a movie with Nicholas Cage tutoring a Thai pickpocket in kung-fu and playing target-practice with watermelons and he's not even allowed to do an "aww, REALLY!!??" What a waste...

Mandate

Enough is enough. I'm tired of going weeks without posting anything here because I can't form a cogent essay or edit a video fast enough. From now on, I'm making it a point to put something here at least once a day, even if it's just tiny snarky commentary about the news.

So, then, for today: In regards to this business about the MTV Video Music Awards and the fucking "Purity Ring" movement (seriously... the HELL? It's like someone found some old 'Straight Edge' clips on YouTube and said "Pfft! We can be soooo much more square than that!") let me just say that, as far as I'm concerned, ANYTHING that's apparently helping to discourage Jordin Sparks and the Jonas Brothers from contributing material to the gene pool can't be ALL bad.