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hat tip: Chud:
http://chud.com/articles/articles/21679/1/MOVIE-MAKES-STUNNING-CLAIM-THAT-BABIES-ARE-CUTE/Page1.html

Well, doesn't THIS have "this year's March of The Penguins" written all over it...




Can't lie, looks cute, kinda surprised nobody thought of "find an excuse to run video of babies for 90 minutes" until now. There's actually a HUGE, more-than-a-little creepy market out there for what amounts to "infants-as-art-objects"... In fact, I'm just gonna go ahead and blame this movie NOW for the fucking Anne Geddes movie we'll probably get about a year later.

Precious: Based On the Watching of the Movie "Precious: Based On the Novel "Push" by Sapphire" by MovieBob

So I finally saw "Precious: Based On the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire," which has become this year's movie that people judge you as a person based on your opinion of it (see also: "Life is Beautiful.") You're either moved-to-life-altering-tears by director Lee Daniels' presentation of an illiterate, morbidly-obese teenager (Gabourey Sidibe) gradually dragging herself out of a nightmarishly-abusive home life with help from friends, teachers and social-workers in 1987 Harlem; or you're a heartless bastard who's either "trying" to dislike it or you just can't take the heat.

Honestly? I'm torn: What you've heard about the acting is true - Sidibe is a revelation, Mo'nique comes close to very nearly eradicating bad memories of... well, pretty much everythign she's ever done anywhere ever (seriously.. was she EVER good in ANYTHING before this?) and somehow Daniels defies all known laws of nature and wrenches a great turn out of Mariah Carey. Maybe Daniels in the wrong profession: He should be an acting coach, exclusively assigned to actresses who've previously failed to demonstrate anything resembling ability (he also produced the Halle Berry Oscar-victory piece "Monster's Ball.)

What he probably SHOULDN'T be doing is directing entire films, because everything in "Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire" ranges from uninspiring to laughably bad. Problem numero-uno is the actual story - once you get past the sheer SCALE of the abuses heaped on Precious (you can practically hear the carnival barker: "Incest! Force-feeding! Baby tossing!") it's difficult to ignore that it's not much more than a grimier, nastier Lifetime movie; right down to Paula Patton's (to be fair, very well-acted) walking-cliche role as the saintly Alternative School teacher who takes it upon herself to rescue Precious.

More problematically, Daniels injects some fantasy/dream sequences, ostensibly representing Precious introverted escape whenever things get too intense, that play-out like bad comedy. He also indulges in ham-fisted irony, as when Precious looks at herself in a mirror and sees a blonde caucasian model instead (gee, do you think that reflection will look different by Act 3??) and a shockingly trite bit where the world-opening effects of education on Precious are visualized by spinning the camera around her and projecting a "great moments of the 20th Century" news-clip assembly onto the walls - an easy contender opposite "New Moon's" seasonal-transition bit as the year's worst use of montage. And don't get me started on the film-school-look-at-me moment where Precious imagines herself and her mother inhabiting a scene from Vittorio De Sica's "Two Women." The hell!?

There's also a few bits where the film seems (perhaps inadvertently, so just be clear I'm suggesting incompetence and not malice) to join it's villains in making fun of Precious: Moments of condescension like Precious' voice-over opining of "they talk like people on TV shows I don't watch" while sitting-in on political chatter between Patton and her partner (why does she know what it sounds like, then?) and did it really require the scene where Precious steals a bucket of fried chicken and devours it while sprinting down the street?

It's impossible not to be effected by the level of squalor on display or the tremendous performances (honestly, the actors yank the film from bad to pretty-good more or less by themselves), but as a functioning film it's DEEPLY flawed. Shower the cast with praise and statues, fine... but the placement of the film itself on any kind of "year's best" list is - at best - charity and at worst self-deception.

WATCH/READ THIS: "Ode to Minions"

I dunno how many people remember to check it out here and there, but Matthew Taranto and Chris Seward's "Brawl in The Family" is consistently one of the better webcomics out there; especially considering it's working from a premise - goofing mainly on Super Smash Bros.-related franchises - that you'd think wouldn't have much room for growth.

To celebrate "strip #200," they've pulled out the stops for a musical episode. It's pretty damn great (the last three panels just SLAY ME), you can check it out HERE (make sure you enable the music):
http://www.brawlinthefamily.com/?p=938

And, since this is the Internet, here's a youtube of the panels "cut" to the song:

Escape to the Movies: "New Moon"

Guess how it was. Go on, guess.



And here's this week's "Intermission," which is also about "Twilight" though significantly more introspective in tone:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/moviebob/6797-Twilight-of-the-She-Geeks

I wholeheartedly support this unlikely and possibly baselass rumor

Heading out to a "Ninja Assassin" screening and a midnight of "New Moon" - since my press-invite seems to have gotten lost in the mail or whatever - but this was a little too on-topic to pass up.

The big "geek rumor" of the last few weeks has been that Sam Raimi and the "Spider-Man 4" production have been casting around for actresses to play Felicia Hardy, aka "The Black Cat." Fans of breasts and those with financial stake in any manufacturer of Adult Female Halloween costumes, rejoice.

Character is a professional thief, sometimes equipped with magical "bad luck powers," with the uncanny ability to creep about unnoticed in spite of a physique and costuming preferences that insure she enters a room about thirty full seconds before she enters a room, if you take my meaning. Mainly started out as a shameless "Catwoman" knockoff, but became a mainstay once artists' enthusiam for drawing her (and fans' enthusiasm for buying products bearing her... let's say "face") somewhat cornered writers' into doing something interesting with her; in this case making her (pyschologically) into a female role-reversal on her own male fans: She's obsessed with Spider-Man, but strictly as an object of fetish - standard-characterization is she's got it bad for Spidey as-in "the guy in the red/blue costume," and has an almost-violent lack of interest in who he actually is without it. For those playing at home, THIS is why Peter Paker's life always has to be stacked to suck so much - so that we can still feel bad for him even with stuff like "consequence-free no-strings on-call copulation with stunning blonde sex-addict" also hanging around his background. (Speaking of writers, it took approximately 2 1/2 pages under Kevin Smith's pen for Cat to "come out" as bisexual, right at the point when that was still somewhat novel for female superheroes. That's a record, even for Smith.)

As is common with these things, even though NO ONE from the production has confirmed that this is even remotely true, "anonymous sources" (read: people's agents) have been leaking rumors of pretty-much every age-appropriate female actress working as being "considered for the role." Julia Stiles, Rachel McAdams and others got name-dropped right away, with Anne Hathaway (dear god, do I even dare DREAM!?) being the most-recent. The only reason you're not hearing Scarlett Johansson's name is that she's already "Black Widow" in "Iron Man 2" and "Avengers."

Left unsaid is how pissed Warner Bros. will be if this is true and they're now "prevented" by not wanting to look dopey from the otherwise-obvious inclusion of Catwoman in the next "Batman."

Star Trek, again

To celebrate the release of "Star Trek" on DVD, The Escapist has bumped my theatrical review of the film back onto the homepage. Sounds like a good idea to me...


http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/the-escapist-presents/721-MovieBob-Reviews-Star-Trek

Escape to the Movies: "2012"



And yet MORE about "2012" and Roland Emmerich in this week's INTERMISSION:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/moviebob/6772-Disasterpiece
 
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