Crazy Lady Reviews "Avatar"

I don't know that many people are aware of "Not Evil, Just Wrong" a fringe anti-environmentalism documentary thats become kind of a hot item on the so-called "Tea Party" circuit. As you might guess from the title and political bent, it's a conspiracy piece arguing that environmental-protection (like DDT bans or cap-and-trade) lead to increased mortality in poverty-class regions. There's a larger than you'd like to believe subset of humanity out there that believes such policies is all part of an orchestrated campaign to deliberately lower the human population - think of them as the global-warming denial crowd's version of 9/11 "Truthers."

Anyway, since "GOP Pretends To Take The Teabaggers Seriously" was the theme of this year's CPAC, Ann McElhinney - one of the producers - was invited to give a speech and did so in the form of reviewing "Avatar." If it wins Best Picture, we've got about a DECADE of this stuff to look forward to laughing at, so you might as well get a jump start:



I'm sure I've got readers who agree with some of this tripe, but even so... for the love of God, there are two wars on and major history-altering bills under consideration in Washington, and this woman is at what's supposed to be a serious strategic-gathering for one of the two "sides" in all this railing against a blue cat-alien movie.

My favorite part is when she appologizes to the crowd for not being an American... and people wonder why I can't call myself a Libertarian anymore ;(

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ETTM Special: "Academy Awards"

Because why not?

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Tonight Show

To those who say that Jay Leno traffics in bland, pandering, safe, tired comedy; you should know that as of two minutes ago Mr. Leno marked his return to the Tonight Show - after one of the most tumultuous and material-ripe back and forths in TV history - with a parody of the "...and you were there!" bit from The Wizard of Oz.

So... um... there? ;)

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Angry Nerd does "Swordquest"

I'm assuming that most of us are familiar, at least by reputation, with James Rolfe - aka "The Angry Video-Game Nerd." If not, in brief: He's probably the first genuinely important video gaming commentator to emerge from the world of web videos. His hook: Rolfe - in character as a foul-mouthed nerd archetype - reviews infamously-awful vintage games, frequently as part of an over-arching comedy skit.

The humor and the ever-increasing retro-popularity for gaming obscura made the character an instant hit a few years back, though many initially dismissed him as yet another one-note Youtube phenomenon; he quickly revealed himself as something much more: A remarkably insightful critic and historian of gaming arcana. The Nerd's focus is almost-exclusively on games of the pre-Playstation era, and - by intent or not - the specific "game-is-bad-must-beat-it-anyway" rage that is his trademark is itself a recognizable relic to Gamers Of A Certain Age: The masochism of having bought/been given a stinker and forcing yourself through it anyway because... well, what ELSE were you going to play?

As part of that broader nostalgia trip, occasionally The Nerd lets (some) of the angry-cussin' veneer drop for episodes that are more like history lessons, and in his newest episode he's tackled a doozy: "Swordquest," the epic (failed) Atari 2600 experiment in which a (planned) series of four games were to be played as part of clue-hunt through tie-in comics that would yield players prizes in the form of real gold-cast "treasures" valued at tens of thousands of dollars. Unfortunately, the Crash of 83 cut the whole event off in the middle; leaving behind dissapointed fans and a two decade long unsolved mystery involving - yes - a lost sword.

Just watch the video, which I'd say is easily one of the best episodes he's ever done...

Video Games ScrewAttack Angry Video Game Nerd: Swordquest

XBox 360 Playstation 3 Nintendo Wii

ScrewAttack Video Game, Angry Video Game Nerd: Swordquest Game Trailers & Videos GameTrailers.com

How nuts is that, right? It's like the pre-title backstory to one of the "National Treasure" movies!

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Makes too much sense to be true...

...would be my reaction to this IESB rumor story about the "full" scope of Christopher Nolan's "shepherding" of future DC Comics superhero movies: http://iesb.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=8514:iesb-exclusive-big-plans-for-superman-batman-a-co&catid=43:exclusive-features&Itemid=73

Short version of the rumor(s), in general order:

1.) Nolan directs "Batman 3" and produces the Superman non-sequel/no-reboot currently being called "The Man of Steel."

2.) Nolan's brother Johnathan and good-buddy David Goyer are writing both the Batman and Superman films, with an eye on Johnathan Nolan making "Man of Steel" HIS directorial debut.

3.) In addition, Christopher Nolan is ALSO "in charge" (in some capacity, at least) of the currently fast-tracked "Flash" and "Green Lantern" movies, along with the other DC "mainline" hero projects yet to be set up (Wonder Woman? Aquaman?) with an eye on cross-franchise synergy leading up to...

4.) ...A franchise-unifying "Justice League" team-up movie to be directed by Nolan AFTER Batman 3 and Superman have come out.

...uh-huh.

From where I sit, this all makes a little too much sense to be true. See, people tend to forget that the DC characters are in a different situation than the Marvel guys, where the rights are spread among different studios and Marvel is only able to try the current "Avengers" experiment because they're doing it in-house. DC, on the other hand, is owned lock, stock and barrel by Warner Bros... ALL of it. In other words, the only reason you see or don't see ANY DC movie is because someone at WB simply said yes or no. They've been capable of greenlighting a Justice League movie, a series of crossovers, a Martian Manhunter rom-com, ANYTHING for decades now and have never managed to get their shit together in all that time. The Nolan bros. have a big Dark Knight shaped dick to swing around in Hollywood right now, sure, but I have a hard time believing that even having the current God of Fanboy Reassurance onhand to bless things is enough to suddenly kick everything so completely into place.

Even still, I'd be more "intrigued" to see this work than excited. If the follow-up to TDK, Superman, Flash and the rest are now supposed to be living in the same universe... how exactly does that work? Will the Nolans risk hacking off all the folks who've come to worship "Knight's" steadfast commitment to "gritty realism" by suddenly having "that" Batman hanging out with aliens, speedsters and Amazonian princesses? Or will it be everyone ELSE who has to get refitted into Batman's world - i.e. will they ALL be sporting underwhelming black robo-armor and chronic laringitis?

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Karate Kid remake explains itself

The "international" trailer for the Karate Kid remake ("spiritual successor," more like) includes dialogue explaining/excusing the problematic title/content dissonance - i.e. the movie is set in CHINA and the "kid" is clearly using/learning KUNG-FU - and otherwise continues the alarming trend of the domestic trailers of looking actually pretty good:



What can I say? I'm liking the unromantic/unvillainous vision of contemporary China, and it looks like Jackie Chan has made a conscious decision to NOT phone this one in. Who knows, anymore...

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Escape to the Movies: "Halo Legends"

Intermission: "Five Great Movies About Video Games" - http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/moviebob/7217-Five-Great-Movies-About-Videogames

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