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MovieBob On Your Radio

Head's up, gang! I am on the radio tonight/tomorrow (March 12th) at 1:15am EST on Dr. Chris Radio of Horror, which you can listen to starting at Midnight EST on WCUW 91.3 FM. Those of you not in the Worcester/Boston area can listen to a stream of the show live at WCUW's site HERE.

Feel free listen for your's truly, but before hand the guest will be the great Trace Beaulieu of MST3K, aka Dr. Clayton Forrester and the original Crow T. Robot so it's probably gonna be a good show all around.

Escape to the Movies: "John Carter"

This really needed to be better.

Also, "The Lorax."

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : John Carter

Even The Crazy-Racist Political Ads Are Better In Europe

DISCLAIMER: I have a feeling this video is probably also cropping up as a "toldja The EU was The Antichrist!" on freakjob right-wing conspiracy-nut sites. Obviously, that's not where I hang my hat; I just thought it was kinda funny/horrifying.

Courtesy Gail Simone's Twitter and the blog "Country Boy Life" I find this incredibly bizzare advertisement (which has apparently now been pulled from circulation) which was supposed to be part of a campaign promote enlarging/strengthening The European Union or "EU." It's a "Kill Bill" riff, in which a (white) woman in yellow/black jumpsuit is attacked in a warehouse by three enemies, whom she defeats by dividing herself into a crowd of clones, surrounding the attackers and ultimately causing them to stand-down and vanish.

The enemies? An Asian kung-fu fighter intro'd with a gong sound, a turban-wearing Middle Easterner with a scimitar (and levitation powers!) and a dreadlock'd black man doing Capoiera. The obvious symbolism is, I'm sure, a complete accident.

Uh... yeah. Wow. So... nice to know The U.S. doesn't have a monopoly on insane race-baiting political ads, I guess. Yikes.

Pictured: Armie Hammer and Johnny Depp as The Lone Ranger and Tonto, respectively. In answer to the obvious question: Yes, on his mother's side, apparently.

Johnny Depp in excessive, outlandish makeup and a funny hat? Whoa. Way to think outside the box, guys. I wonder if he has some kind of "offbeat" verbal-inflection?

I for one can't wait to read the Disney Studio P.R. release about how Tonto's look is A.) totally based on a real, extremely specific type of Native American attire - much more authentic than the way Tonto and Native characters in particular have typically been depicted before! - and B.) something that Johnny Depp brought to the table and insisted on and that "the suits" were all like "Noooo!" about but, man, you just gotta go with Johnny cuz that dude is just on a totally different visionary plane, man.

Yeah, okay, whatever. Johnny Depp has a bird for a hat and that's reeeeaaaalllllyyyy weird and everyone has already made that Nicholas Cage joke. What I wanna know is what's up with The Ranger's new look.

Not necessarily that they seem to have ditched the traditional red/white/blue color scheme (red kerchief, white hat, blue shirt typically, though it has differed), but what's the deal with the Marshall's badge? Traditionally, The Lone Ranger is a vigilante - a onetime Texas Ranger (or sometimes the civilian brother of a Ranger) left for dead who adopts an anonymous masked-persona to gain advantage over his would-be murderers. Is he an "official' lawman in this version? And, if so, why the mask?

"Venom" To Rise Again At Sony

As expected, the success of "Chronicle" put director Josh Trank at the top of the to-call list for damn near every still-gestating superhero project; and now it appears he's about to take his pick: A stand-alone vehicle built around "Venom." Yes, the Spider-Man villain.

Wait, what?

Okay, so the reason this is happening is because - despite not having been interesting once since the end of his main origin story - Venom is one of Marvel's cash-cows in terms of marketing (unless what you're trying to market are comic books, in which case everyone stopped giving a shit after Maximum Carnage.) Sony has been planning to give Venom his own movie franchise since before "Spider-Man 3," which is one of the reasons the character was forced into the movie (against director Sam Raimi's wishes) in the first place.

But... that's what makes this a head-scratcher: Sony has now re-booted Spider-Man, meaning that the Venom this new franchise was initially supposed to "start" from is kaput, right? I mean, they can't very well call "Venom" a continuation of "Spider-Man 3" at the same time that the new "Amazing Spider-Man" franchise is just getting off the ground, can they? Wouldn't that confuse the crap out of everybody? Or is this inadvertently spoiling that the "seeds" of the Venom story will be making some kind of appearance in "Amazing?" (Which, given the raging hard-on the producers have for this character, would be the least surprising thing that could happen in that movie.)

The answer, of course, is likely that the film will be "it's own thing" with no connection to the Spider-Man series and some totally new character getting infected by The Symbiote... except here's the problem with that: Spider-Man is the ONLY reason anyone cares about Venom.

The reason Venom is a great seller of t-shirts, toys and other sundry merchandising is that he looks cool; and what looks cool about him is that he's a "monster-version" of Spider-Man - right down to all of his powers being Spider-Man's powers. If this movie doesn't have any connection to Spider-Man, how do you explain the living-costume putting Spider-Man's logo on it's chest and using his web powers? I mean, you can't just leave that stuff out - take away the spider-powers and the "evil Spidey" look and this ceases to be the uber-marketable Venom that justified making the movie in the first place.