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Glenn Beck Slams "NOAH" Sight-Unseen

There are two kinds of people in the world: Thinkers and Believers.

"Big Picture" this past Tuesday was about "NOAH" (which I still haven't seen, damn it), specifically regarding the amusing ironic of reflexively-irreligious film geeks turning up their noses at the feature without noting that it's rather openly not fighting on the side they assume it is.

Case in point: Here's Glenn Beck and company pissing and moaning about the potential of Darren Aronofsky's film to undermine Biblical literalism. Perish the thought.

"THE GIVER" Teaser Trailer

Below, the first teaser for the movie of "THE GIVER," based on a book you may have been forced to read in middle-school about (all together now) a tween hero with a special destiny bracing against a dystopian future where free-will has been suppressed.

In fairness to Lois Lowry, this was written in 1993 when only most of it's component parts were tedious cliches. Either way, I'm not sure how this premise is going to work in 2014 - but that involves SPOILERS so hit the jump for those...



SPOILERS:

Okay, so if you either don't remember or don't care about spoilers, the book of "THE GIVER" was pretty-much the main thing "EQUILIBRIUM" borrowed it's setup from: A dystopian future society that enforces an emotionally-numbed "sameness" largely by excising the population's collective memories of the past up to and including what color, music, emotion, etc "were." Our hero is a 12 year-old who's next in line to become "The Giver," i.e. a guy who gets to be a human backup-drive whose mind will contain all those "lost" memories in case the leadership ever needs to look something up. He befriends the current Giver, and the two of them start thinking about kicking off a revolution against The System.

Here's what I want to know (apart from why it doesn't look like they're doing it in black-and-white gradually transitioning to color when that's pretty-much how the hero's development is layed out in the book and also damn near the only way to make any of this look visually dynamic): Are they still working from the premise that this is the future of our world? Because if so, they're going to have to change what the big inciting "Must Fight The System" issue is.

Short version: Every dystopia needs a big central horror underlying it in order to prevent the audience from asking "yeah but" questions about liberty vs security, and in "The Giver" it's that The Community practices Spartan-style population control by euthanizing "aberrant" babies in infancy (example of aberration: identical twins). Problem: In the time between the writing of the book and now, the existence of prenatal genetic testing has made the basic premise of that (apart from being barbaric) wholly obsolete... or does The Giver remember everything about the earlier world except that particular technology?

From the looks of the teaser, it would appear that "save that baby!" is still the big Act III suspense-kickoff; but I'm given to think they might've been better acknowledging that the world has moved on and a new angle was necessary overall: Now, however good the movie is, they're going to get swept up in a bunch of media nonsense about whether it's a "pro-life metaphor" (which won't be helped by the presence of Walden Media, which has connections to right-wing Christian activist Philip Anschutz, as producers.)

The Big Picture: "WATERWORKS"

Good Grief

So they finally went ahead and did it.



Sooooooo many mixed emotions about this. The whole concept of doing PEANUTS in 3D sounds abhorrent on it's face, but look of this is... not bad. If nothing else, there's obviously been a lot of work/thought put into the style here that's coming from the right place: They've used the "dropped keyframes" animation trick from WRECK-IT RALPH and LEGO MOVIE to preserve the instant-shift from static to motion of traditional animation, and the programming physics behind the faux-linework for the details and faces (which makes them look like "embossed" 2D-paintings rather than fully-3D figures) would probably make my head spin. Blue Sky is a consistently under-appreciated studio.

So it looks right and sounds right, but what I want to know about is TONE: A 3D PEANUTS is terrifying because 3D animation's current "default" is dizzying, movement-centered showcases for 3D projection - all chases and pratfalls and elaborate visual gags - all of which are anathema to these characters and their world. Part of the reason Charlie Brown etc. look the way they do is because they were designed, deliberately, to occupy space and grouse to one another... and that's about it.

...except it just occured to me that a Snoopy "Red Baron" sequence would be the most-logical place for this to jump-out into a bigger-scale "wheeee!" showcase moment apart from the rest of the film, and now I want to see what that looks like. Huh.

This Is Your New GREEN GOBLIN



...I got nothing.

Oh well, appearances aren't everything - a lot of people hated the Tokusatsu-esque Goblin armor in the original, and I liked that just fine, so who really knows?

I'm just glad that Harry Osborn was such an important presence in the first "AMAZING SPIDER-MAN", so that his transformation in this one will be informed by the weight of that well-established relationship with Peter and the other characters. I mean, can you imagine how awkward it'd be if there hadn't even been any indication that this person existed before now and they had to stuff the origin and the narrative of Peter and Harry's friendship - the only thing that makes him compelling as an eventual nemesis - and Harry becoming a Goblin into one movie that's already built around at least two other villains and the continuing plot threads of Peter's missing parents, his relationship with Gwen, whatever is going on with Norman Osborn and that guy with the hat???

That would be nutty...

Here's The GoPro Fan-Film That'll Make You Love SUPERMAN Again:

Things you're probably sick of on The Internet: FX-demo reels playing out in Southern California, "_____ With a GoPro," bitter thirtysomething nerd movie-critics telling you how some fan-film nails this or that licensed property better than it's most recent movie did. Well, tough - watch this SUPERMAN short anyway, and be amazed:



Perfect. Basically perfect. I can't even bring myself to hate the dubstep (I assume unapproved "With John Williams Theme" versions will be all over the place in a few hours, for good or ill.)

Incredibly, it's looks like they accomplished 90% of this using a remote-controlled quadcopter and lot of clever editing. Impressive as all hell. If I'm Zack Snyder, I'm quietly tossing these guys a bunch of money not to raise a fuss when I borrow a bunch of these shots for "MAN OF STEEL 2."

Escape to The Movies: "NEED FOR SPEED"

 
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