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Film Review: CHAPPIE (2015)

NOTE I: Sorry folks, PAXEast preparations means no video review for this one - at least not right away. Hope you enjoy this text-only version, all the same.

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CHAPPIE is an ambitious, earnestly crafted film that's also profoundly flawed; in both respects to a degree that one will likely cancel the other depending on the individual viewer.

It's a work cast in bold strokes, with every thematic and aesthetic element carried to the nearest extreme: The titular robotic hero is supposed to be "childlike," so he's realized as literally a titanium five year-old who cowers and sobs when unable to comprehend having been lied to and cries out for his "Mommy" when in danger. In tone and texture (and in approach to the "science" in science-fiction) it's a kids movie, but realized as an R-rated bloodbath because, well, there's guns in the story and damned if any of them are gonna go un-shot. South African rave-rap icons Ninja and Yolandi Visser (aka "Die Antwoord") are stunt-cast as Chappie's human co-stars - not simply as characters like their stage personas but as "themselves," in an alternate universe where they're actual violent gangsters instead of an arty gangsta-rap piss-take.

It's kind of a mess, in other words, but there's an energy to it - a real, beating-heart sincerity to the parts that work - that worked for me, in spite of the roughness of everything else. Your mileage will likely vary.

SPOILERS from here on out...


In his overwhelmingly negative review, Devin Faraci pegs post-DISTRICT 9 Neil Blomkamp as "a victim of the auteur theory," which I'd have to call a fair assessment even as I find myself on the other side of CHAPPIE: The 70s have been over for four decades now, but we're still overly-invested in the romantic ideal that filmmakers with technical skill and uniquely personal visions should also be free to drive their own narratives. Blomkamp is a visionary and a technical wizard, but being able to tell a story visually doesn't mean you should also be in charge of what that story is.

This is a filmmaker who can create breathtaking worlds, stage powerful images and communicate ideas and emotions visually with the best of them; but has faltered when asked to arrange those pieces into a cohesive storyline when not afforded the guiding hand of Peter Jackson (who shepherded DISTRICT 9 to the big screen.) Instead, Blomkamp has now made three films wherein he crafts a "narrative" around dropping his Big Ideas into a now-familiar template.

To wit: CHAPPIE once again involves an economically-blighted future wherein an unlikely protagonist finds himself caught between multiple competing, morally-ambiguous interests vying for control of a Big Idea sci-fi technology, wherein everything is eventually sorted-out via a climactic shootout instigated by an evil-incarnate villain rearing their head. Specifically, we're back in crime-ridden near-future Johannesberg, where policing is being handled by an almost-entirely mechanized robotic police force staffed by semi-autonomous drones called scouts.

The scout's creator/engineer (Dev Patel) sees them as a step toward his dream of creating actual artificial intelligence, but his boss (Sigourney Weaver) won't let him test it on the company dime. Instead, he opts to try installing his A.I. program in the mind/body of a broken scout nicknamed Chappie (voice and motion-capture by Sharlto Copley) ...shortly before they're both kidnapped by Die Antwoord's Ninja and Yolandi Visser (as themselves) who were looking for leverage on the police-bots but now see Chappie as potentially more useful. The engineer and the gangstas ultimately wind up in what's basically a Mexican Standoff shared-custody arrangement of  a robot "child" whose self-aware consciousness is effectiely a blank slate - and whose battle-damage dooms "him" to a brief five days of "life."

That's the main Big Idea: Robot-programming as a metaphor for parenting styles. Patel wants Chappie to learn about pacificism and explore his creative side to prove the breadth of his A.I. creation, Ninja wants to teach him to "be a man" (read: be a macho cretin, like Ninja) so he can lend his titanium muscles to heists and Visser encourages him to be himself. This is all complicated further by the presence of Hugh Jackman as a rival roboticist (an ex-soldier rather than an engineer) whose frustrated that the scouts have pulled funding away from his human-piloted Metal Gear-esque behemoth, The Moose, and if you've seen Blomkamp's other two films you know where this is headed (at least until the film throws in another even  bigger sci-fi concept that might've been better served as a sequel or a different film) - but it's interesting to watch it get there.

Let's be blunt about this: Chappie and CHAPPIE are inseparable in terms of appraisal: If you aren't charmed by Chappie, the toddler/Terminator/puppy/martyr hybrid, you are going to find CHAPPIE the scattershot scifi movie tiresome and irritating; but if you end up finding Blomkamp's newest better-than-human Christ-figure (recall DISTRICT 9's nobly-suffering alien dad Christopher Johnson, another CGI/mo-cap miracle and part of a trend suggesting the director's preference for technological creations extends all the way to moral superiority) endearing enough - if his infantilized eagerness to please and panicked wailing for "Mommy" (aka Yolandi) when under assault melt your heart rather than making you want to slap him - you'll find yourselves wanting to excuse the flaws everywhere else.

If CHAPPIE has a central sin, its Blomkamp's seeming innability to not throw every single idea he has (for action scenes, for dramatic twists, for comedy, for philosophical ponderings) into every project as though he thinks each film will be the last. There's an entire movie that could've been made of the ethical clash over human-piloted vs intelligent robots, Patel's largely-unaware god complex, Ninja and Yolandi's shared immediacy in accepting Chappie as a surrogate child but radically different approaches thereafter and even Chappie's half-understood induction into the Jo'berg gangster lifestyle (my preview audience, it must be noted, never failed to find the robot donning bling, slashing gang signs and talking "street" hysterical); but instead they're all fighting for space in the same movie, and dramatic subtlty is the first casualty - at one point, Patel literally calls Ninja a "philistine," to give you an idea where we're operating at.

The second casualty is any sense of rhyme or reason to Jackman's bad guy, who glowers in the background waiting for his innevitable chance to go full-tilt evil and provide opportunities for the good guys to prove their metel and pay off their respective arcs (my biggest disappointment: An early gag of Chappie imitating an old HE-MAN cartoon somehow doesn't pay off with the robot declaring that He Has The Power while dropping an enemy with a sword.)

With a little more room to breath his (Jackman's) character might've worked, but as-presented he's clearly been cut down to the point where he's little more than a collection of personality traits that mark you as irredeemably evil in modern sci-fi movies: It's not enough that he's a neaderthal luddite who mistrust's A.I. implicitly and a burly bully who picks on lovable-dweeb Patel at work, he's also a churchgoing religious nut (he starts berrating Chappie as "Godless!" at one point) and a smirkingly-proud ex-military hardass - which in The Blomkampverse means he's an amora psychopath whose preference for piloted 'bots comes down to a gleeful fondness for ripping apart poor people with a cut-rate Metal Gear.

Hell, in case you haven't accepted him as evil-incarnate after all that, his first encounter with Chappie involves abducting the robot and trying to cut him into pieces in the back of a truck; after which our (child-voiceD) hero refers to him in panicked post-traumatic shrieks only as "THE BAD MAN IN THE VAN!" That's a level of laying-it-on-thick I don't think there's even a working measurement for.

But I can't lie: I bought in. It worked for me. I'm an automatic mark for characters who're (literally or figuratively) big loyal dogs, and as borderline-maudlin and manipulative as the proceedings gets ("The bad man in the van hurt me, Mommy! Even though I said stop!" - fucking seriously?) I was impressed how fully they film "went for it" in terms of Chappie himself. It also helps that, while Patel, Weaver and Jackman are more or less on autopilot, Die Antwoord showed up to work. The non-joke joke of the band playing themselves (wearing their own merchandise, listening to their own music) is going to be too silly for many to overcome, but "Ninja" more than adequately sells the idea that he's something of an overgrown child himself (and that his shitty fathering-style is almost certainly being passed-along generationally); but it's Visser who ends up being the MVP, with her non-transformation from punk waif to Chappie's Virgin Mary-figure getting the film as close as it's going to get to a grownup emotional core in what's otherwise a hard-R Pixar movie.

I get the sense that, like the similarly-earnest nonsense of JUPITER ASCENDING, we won't really know what CHAPPIE's effectiveness is as a film until a generation of kids who see it in spite of its rating grow up and look back on it. As much as I eventually liked CHAPPIE, broken bits and all, I feel like I'm about 20 years too old to love it - but as a kiddie-souled movie with R-rated gore, I feel like it can't not be fated to wind up as Millennial cult-classic, and I say that with all the confidence of my own generation, currently on Decade Two of trying to convince the world (and ourselves) that THE GOONIES is a masterpiece.


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"Welcome to Asia"

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"Okay, here's the pitch."

"I'm listening."

"Cool. Cool. So, it's a movie..."

"Good, good. That's primarily what we make here."

"Nice. So, it's a movie, but - here's the hook: It's SUPER racist."

"...racist."

"SUPER racist."

"Hm. Can you clarify, 'super?' Like, on a scale of zero to Nugent?"

"Um... I guess, Nugent - but at a no-press-allowed CPAC fundraiser with those Duck guys?"

"Ah!"

"Yeah."

"So... pretty darn racist."

"Yes. Yes it is."

"Hm........... ....... ... ...Well, shit - we DID just cross $470 million worldwide on 'Bradley Cooper Headshots Brown People For Two Hours.' You got yourself a green light!"




So, yeah. NO ESCAPE. Apparently, somebody decided that Zombies had become too subtle a metaphor for enroaching hordes of not-quite-humanity threatening the domestic civility of "normal" Americans, and that the only way to continue siphoning money from Caucasian suburbanite existential panic was to drop the veil entirely and spin the tale of Owen Wilson's fight to protect his postcard-perfect lily white wife and daughters from the entire population of an unidentified Southeast Asian country. Yellow Peril, much?

The idea is that they're recently-relocated immigrants who find themselves caught up in an escalating clash between the oppressive Police State government and a civilian uprising (it was shot in Thailand with THE COUP as a working title) which is a decent premise for an action/thriller (and for that money-shot of Wilson overhand-hurling his kid to his wife on the next roof - damn!) but holy shit. Did no one at any point think about how the scenario reads re: obvious xenophobia, dehumanization of The Other, etc? And if they did, did anybody think to calculate if the cash it'd stand to make from Sarah Palin's America is actually worth how insulting this looks to the increasingly more-vital overseas audience - several billion of whom might come to resent the makers and stars of a film depicting them as something between fire ants and Orcs?


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TV Recap: AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D - Season 2 Episode 11: "AFTERSHOCKS"

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AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D's stature within the Marvel Cinematic Universe is such that it's both about what is effectively The Avengers' unofficial support-staff and also is very much that itself: Team Coulson may have their own individual stories and arcs, but what they find themselves actually doing day to day is increasingly determined by what the MCU's superhero-starring feature films need them to do (setting up plot points, expanding mythologies) and forbid them to do (using certain characters, revealing certain truths.) That's got to be difficult, from a writing standpoint, but it makes for an interesting show - a "procedural" whose status quo is always changing.

BIG SPOILERS from here on out, continue at your own discretion:


For the first half of Season 1, that made things difficult - the series had to default into a decidedly mixed "monster of the week" routine until CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER's release allowed them to show their cards re: the presence of a modernized HYDRA as the reigning big-bads. Season 2, on the other hand, has been allowed to play things more deliberately.

The main storyline of its first half (Agent Skye has discovered her real identity, its not human and certain others like her are not nice people) was a treasure-hunt adventure laying the foundation for THE INHUMANS, whose movie won't be out for a few years yet; meaning there's likely not as much already decided this time. But now, with the basic mythos and "rules" of this new level of MCU reality set down, AGENTS' modus-operandi has shifted once again: The series, it seems, is now tasked with establishing the very function of The Inhumans in the bigger narrative (we'll come back to that), while the characters appear to have landed in a whole new realm of moral ambiguity.

...but that's getting ahead of things.

"Aftershocks" opens in the immediate aftermath of the big Winter cliffhanger: S.H.I.E.L.D and HYDRA both followed the alien maps embedded in Coulson's subconscious to an underground temple, where mysterious crystals emitted a gas that incinerated Agent Tripp but encased Skye and superpower-obsessed Raina in coccoons. Skye (real name: Daisy) emerged physically unchanged but with earthquake-causing powers, while Raina was transformed into a kind of human/porcupine hybrid.

Oh! And Skye/Daisy's father Calvin (aka "Mr. Hyde") now wants to kill Coulson for A.) being more a father figure to Skye than him and B.) robbing him of the chance to kill HYDRA boss Daniel Whitehall in revenge for the murder of Skye's mother.

This stuff (read: the stuff we care about) should be the main plot, but it's treated almost like the B-story, with Skye in quarantine (no one knows what happened to her - yet) and the rest of the team mourning the loss of Tripp. The A-story, meanwhile, is all about Coulson marshalling S.H.I.E.L.D 2.0's first big power play: An elaborate scheme to use Whitehall's vacancy to knock off the remainder of HYDRA's leadership, Michael Corleone style. Its a cool setup that could easily have played out across the entire rest of the season...

...but, instead, they pull the whole thing off in this one episode.

No, really: S.H.I.E.L.D makes a handful of moves and the heads of HYDRA (save, of course, for the frequently name-checked Baron Von Strucker; who's scheduled to meet The Avengers in May) are all severed in quick succession. As misdirections go, I like it ("Gotcha! We're done with HYDRA now, it's Inhumans time!") but it ends up feeling a bit anticlimactic: AGENTS has by now embraced it's own B-team stature, so it's a bit weird to see them (apparently) able to run down and erradicate one of the big bad overriding threats of the Marvel Universe at the drop of a hat in what pretty-much everyone acknowledges is a hasty bit of retaliation by Coulson.

But, again, this appears to be AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D's lot in life: HYDRA has served it's purpose in the MCU, or at least is about to (it feels like Von Strucker's presence in AGE OF ULTRON will be strictly an appetizer before the big robot buffet) so it falls to Coulson and company to quietly move them off the field and set about their new mission of helping The Inhumans fill the mutant-sized hole in Marvel's worldbuilding.

Yeah, so let's talk about that.

The rationale for Marvel's eagerness at turning an eternally niche-audience property like THE INHUMANS into a recognizable franchise is the worst kept secret in genre film right now: They know that any incarnation of The Marvel Universe needs the "super-powers as metaphor for oppressed/disenfranchised minorities" angle of Mutants as part of its fundamental DNA; but they also know that they aren't getting the rights to their Mutant characters/concepts back from Fox unless Hugh Jackman boards a one-way flight to Mars next week. Solution? Fit a slightly-reimagined version of The Inhumans (genetic descendants of early humans experimented on by Kree aliens who manifest either powers, monster-like forms or both when exposed to crystalline mists) into the MCU's "Mutant slot" and hope the machine will run just as well until the really bizarre stuff rears its head in the INHUMANS movie.

And, at least as far as "Aftershocks" seems to imply, AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D is where the "doesn't this remind you of The X-Men?" drumbeat begins: Skye is looking to hide her mutation Inhumanity from the rest of the team (except for Fitz, who figures it out but agrees to stay mum about it) at least until she can control her powers. Simmons is so broken up about Tripp that she's gone from wanting to discover/study mutations inhuman-powers to wanting to wipe every trace of them off the face of the Earth ("Jemma-cidal," much?) Starting to sound familiar?

But if there was any remaining doubt that Marvel is positioning The Inhumans as Brand-X-Men, it should be obliterated by the "C-story" involving Mr. Hyde and Raina. Hyde is excited that Skye's post-transformation anxieties (a flashback involving Skye's mom nurturing a recently-transformed teenage teleporter Gordon aka "The Reader" establishes this as a common issue) could be a catalyst for driving her away from Coulson and back to him. Raina is mortified that her Inhuman form has left her looking like a monster, and attempts to committ suicide by S.H.I.E.L.D hit-squad...

...but is thwarted when a now-grown Nightcrawler Reader bamfs teleports in, calls her "beautiful" and wisks her off with promises to show her the way - Reader having previously inferred a connection a whole network of on-the-downlow Inhumans. Oh, and Hyde gets all giddy at the thought of calling up his own Brotherhood collective of mischief-making Inhuman pals to wreak havoc against S.H.I.E.L.D, so maybe we've got two competing factions of superhumans at play here, as well?

So, yes, it now appears that the guesses (mine included) were right: The Inhumans are the MCU Mutants, and S.H.I.E.L.D is now (unwittingly) the tip of humanity's incursion into their previously-hidden world. But lest you think that's all we're dealing with, a final scene establishes that Agents Bobbi (aka Mockingbird) and Mac are indeed double agents for... somebody, and they're specifically looking to relieve Coulson of former director Nick Fury's "toolbox."

As an episode, "Aftershocks" was uneven - the Death of HYDRA business felt rushed, and the Inhumans rollout thus far feels more interested in winking at in-the-know comics fans ("Yeah. We're really doin' this. This is happening.") than selling itself to audiences. But it's hinting at exciting ideas for the rest of the season, and maybe more. There's an entertainment value to be had in watching an entertainment piece stride confidently up to the plate and pre-call the trajectory of it's next home run, even if it's not at all clear that it's going to avoid striking out.

PARTING THOUGHTS:

  • Note to Marvel/all-comics-adaptations in general: If you're going to give people nicknames/codenames/etc? Use them. "Cal" is an angry scientist who gets angry and stomps the shit out of people, it's okay to just call him "Mr. Hyde."
  • Raina's porcupine-woman look is way too reminisicient of NIGHTBREED's Shuna Sassi to be unintentional, right? Especially given that NIGHTBREED is also about an underground community of "monsters" shunned by normal humanity?
  • Who are Bobbi and Mac working for (or, at least, reporting-to)? They're probably not going to go for straight-up villains so soon after wrapping up the whole "HYDRA sleeper agents" plot, so I imagine the idea is more along the lines of Fury and Coulson not being the only people who wanted to start up a replacement for the original S.H.I.E.L.D. Shot in the dark? They're actually Agents of S.W.O.R.D.
  • So Fitz/Simmons, previously AGENTS' model of workplace friendship and/or adorkable star-crossed romance, are now going to be on diametrically-opposed sides of the Inhumans Issue; signaling that "Kill `em all!" v "Maybe don't do that" is going to be an A or B choice for people in the MCU? Huh. Y'know, that's the kind of thing you might end up fighting a CIVIL WAR over...
NEXT WEEK: 

"Who You Really Are" will feature the return of Jamie Alexander as We Can't Use Chris Hemsworth Lady Sif, who is having some amnesia troubles after scrapping with an enemy who may have connections to the Skye situation. Also, it looks like maybe we won't be waiting much longer to see how Coulson feels about Skye being an Inhuman.


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AGENT CARTER - In Summation

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Opting to hit up a full-series rundown now that AGENT CARTER has concluded, as opposed to just an episode breakdown like last week. 

Spoiler city after the jump, but for up here I'll just say that I thought the series was strong throughout and finished on the proper note. I get that some fans are annoyed because they were hoping for some kind of major Marvel character drop or more explicit MCU worldbuilding, but AGENT CARTER was very much it's own creature and stayed on that course admirably. This was Marvel Studios' first real push at developing what amounts to an original character outside the comics (the Peggy Carter of the books is a markedly different, less overall-important figure than the one played by Haly Atwell) so it's important that this was overwhelmingly her story moreso than another gear in the MCU worldbuilding machine.

More after the jump (SPOILERS)

At this point the most introspective question in geek media is whether or not the Marvel Cinematic Universe movie/TV projects are "overrated." That the features are overall extremely well-reviewed among action films isn't in dispute, it's more a matter of degrees: Is this really that above-average of a blockbuster cycle, or are fans overpraising their good points when they're really just high on the experience of Continuity Porn finally being part of superhero-cinema?

Speaking only for myself? I don't necessarily think "overrated" is the problem, but there's probably a significant level of under-criticizing. For example, a largely forgettable feature like THOR: THE DARK WORLD should probably have taken more lumps for being forgettable; but instead its average-ness passes without much scorn because, hey, those were some nice ULTRON/GUARDIANS/INFINITY building-blocks, huh? These things happen.

On the other hand, sometimes the big continuity experiment justifies itself; namely by allowing the production of something that otherwise wouldn't likely have seen the light of day. It's hard to imagine even the most niche of TV networks jumping at the chance to run a scifi-tinged female-led period spy series that's also set up as a broad (pardon the pun) metaphor for the uniquely and largely lost-to-history struggles of American women between the end of World War II and the decade-later advent of contemporary feminism; but if it's an AVENGERS prequel? Suddenly, you've got a show.

The result was a real winner. AGENT CARTER had an energy and a sense of self like nothing else currently airing, at once a throwback and forward-looking as it deftly balanced it's meta-plot (Peggy Carter versus the postwar patriarchy) with a more straightforward espionage plot that teased at both Marvel Universe obscura and Cold War stirrings, only to subvert both expectations with a villain scheme that ultimately boiled down to revenge on America for a war crime committed against Russian allies during The Big One.

Along the way, some cursory groundwork (maybe) got laid in terms of what will lead to the dissolution of the SSR and the rise of S.H.I.E.L.D (plus it's built-in internal rot via a surprise last-minute appearance by Arnim Zola) and the historical background of The Avengers' Black Widow; but in the end this was an eight hour action-adventure story that was "about" - both thematically and in basic plotting - the lives of women and the search for identity of one woman in particular... and that's what it needed to be.

Not that this was some kind of polemic: In the end, Peggy Carter's journey was about overcoming her own insecurities even moreso than the sexism of her colleagues, and it's "message to the men" boiled down to "don't make assumptions based on gender." In the end, AGENT CARTER made it's most radical points just by existing - it's hard not to notice that the seemingly mundane aspects of Peggy's story (invisible sexism, morality-policing in so-called "safe spaces," complex friendships among women, etc) are actually more "exotic" presences of a network series than all the balletic martial-arts, sci-fi devices and near-magical hypnotists. Ray guns and madness-gas? Been there. Carter instructing a well-meaning male colleague that his eagerness to leap to her defense is less help than hindrance? That's fresh.

Not that this was a one woman show: The supporting cast (largely original characters or dramatic reimaginings) was uniformly great, a who's-who of character actors who look better in period settings than they would anywhere else. It's not every show where outsized "Oh! That guy!" talents like James D'Arcy, Neil McDonough and the great Shea Whigham feel right at home; along with the welcome return of Dominic Cooper's Howard Stark. And special attention must be paid to Bridget Regan, who invested the late-arriving Dottie Underwood (the proto-Black Widow) with real character.

It remains to be seen where AGENT CARTER goes from here. The series has spawned a small but passionate fanbase, particularly on social media among women, but it wasn't a ratings juggernaut. Could a full series (perhaps in a more forgiving timeslot like Sunday nights?) be in the offing? Another mid-season fill-in for AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D? TV movies - or maybe a feature try-out? I couldn't guess at this point. But Marvel has created a powerful new resource here - they'd be crazy not to make more use of it.

On Leonard Nimoy

I've been consumed with a number of things, most especially getting THIS (and it's follow-up, and the impending relaunch) ready to go, hence the lack of immediate updates. But I obviously can't let the passing of Boston's own Leonard Nimoy yesterday afternoon pass unremarked upon.

By the time I was old enough to be aware of STAR TREK, Nimoy and Spock were well into their mutual mid-1980s revival as blockbuster superstars, so I never new a world where Trek (classic, at least) wasn't a widely-accepted part of mainstream popular culture. But even knowing of the period adrift only through history, it feels like any moment of "has-been" stature that might've stuck to the rest of the franchise never stuck to this person - even if at one point his relationship with his most famous characterization was complicated enough to pen both the 1975 autobiography I AM NOT SPOCK and follow it up with 1995's I AM SPOCK.

So, to me, this person was always famous; one of the first actors I can remember really associating with beyond his character thanks in large part to his unmistakable voice and presence. He always seemed larger than life, which was unusual since outside of Spock he was so often seen in genial and playful circumstances - a towering figure who for some reason deigned to walk among ordinary people.

It's cliche by now, but there's really no better to say it than just to reiterate: Actor, director, singer, writer, activist - he lived long, and he prospered.

Also cliche: By now, I'm sure everyone's Facebook is well and truly cluttered with repostings of the funeral scene from STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN. But for me, the first thing I sought out on hearing the news was the below video, which captures Nimoy's (locally)-famous narration of the tech-demo for the Boston Museum of Science's Mugar Omni Theater:

Here's An Insane AGE OF ULTRON Theory For You


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So here's the new (final?) AGE OF ULTRON poster, which looks about as generic as one can expect from a movie that has never once needed a poster or any kind of advertising to gaurantee a blockbuster opening. Truth be told, the Marvel movies have generally had pretty bland posters, the one exception possibly being the second one for FIRST AVENGER.

But whatever. Not a lot of new information get's conveyed upfront (Vision is still mostly obscured, if Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver eventually become not boring-looking we're not seeing what that looks like here) but the full credits at the bottom are telling a different story - maybe.

For starters, we finally get confirmation that Stellan Skarsgaard and Anthony Mackie are both in the cast - though who can say what exactly their roles will be (I'd like Falcon and War Machine to have at least one "Main Guys' Black Friends" side-eye moment.) Also Haly Atwell (Agent Carter) which is... interesting.

But the one sticking out to me? Additional music from Danny Elfman. What's that about?


Briefly: The "additional music/pieces" credit for scoring is generally only used when pieces of music from a different score (by a different composer) are showing up. Now, it's very plausible that the film is simply borrowing a piece of music just to use it (that happens - directors fall in love with temp-tracks all the time.) It's also possible that the credit refers to the use of an Oingo Boingo track, though the credit would generally be different for that.

The only character in this movie remotely previously associated with Elfman is Hulk, but that's because Elfman scored the 2003 Ang Lee version - if Marvel is going to reference a previously Hulk movie, it'd probably be the one they made that's still (technically) part of their continuity, right?

Either way, I'm sure the answer is pretty mundane. But thinking on it gave me a crazy idea that I now can't get out of my head without sharing it. So here goes. There's effectively maybe 0.000001% chance this would happen, but if I had my cosmic way over all such matters the reason a Danny Elfman track would show up in the Marvel Cinematic Universe would be to accompany the arrival a familiar hero with his familiar (Elfman composed) theme:

SPIDER-MAN.

As in: Tobey Maguire as the now-adult Peter Parker from the Sam Raimi-directed, Elfman-scored SPIDER-MAN movies that pre-dated the now-aborted Andrew Garfield/magic blood/robo-rhino version.

Hear me out.

Here's what's known about the immediate future of the SPIDER-MAN movies: Marvel originally wanted to strike a deal to get him into the hero versus hero CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR movie in some capacity. The role is being recast not only younger, but with a rumored emphasis on possibly shaking up the franchise's ethnic status-quo with either a non-white Peter Parker or a movie debut for Miles Morales, the Black/Latino second Ultimate Spider-Man.

So, picture this scenario:


  • Spider-Man shows up in AGE OF ULTRON. Doesn't have to be for the whole movie, just for a scene - maybe he's helping in a battle, maybe it's an "Oh hi guys!," something like that. He's NOT an Avengers-level hero, traditionally, so it makes sense he'd be operating on their periphery.
  • When he shows up, he's accompanied by Elfman's familiar main theme and sounds a lot like Tobey Maguire. Just to get the audience thinking on those lines.
  • At a certain point, Maguire (briefly) appears again as Peter Parker, with some sort of quick business (piece of costume sticking out?) and a reprise of the theme to indicate that, yes, this is not only Spider-Man but THAT specific version of Spider-Man, retroactively making the Raimi films (or just the first two, if you like) part of the MCU extended canon.
  • Maguire-Spidey reappears as a full-blown supporting character in CIVIL WAR, where he fulfills much the same role as the comics re: joining Team Iron Man, revealing his identity to the public and coming to regret doing so. But this time, it goes much worse for him - he dies. Yes. Spider-Man (a hero still more familiar/loved worldwide than any of the MCU characters) buys it in CIVIL WAR. He can die heroically (Ooh! Maybe he takes the sniper-bullet for Captain America for the adaptation fake-out?) Tears, sadness, "This generation's Optimus Prime death," etc.
  • Post-credits stinger for CIVIL WAR: Introduction of a seemingly random young kid who seems especially moved by the death of Spider-Man: Miles Morales.
  • However many months later, Miles emerges as the main character of the new Marvel-But-We're-Pretending-Sony-Is-Making-Any-Meaningful-Decisions-About-This SPIDER-MAN movies; which can no procede with his supporting cast, origin, etc.
Would it work? Who knows. Maybe I'm nuts. But I'd be all over that, and not just because I more or less made it all up on the fly. But I'd argue it offers a lot of benefit: Marvel get's a huge WRATH OF KHAN moment for CA:CW without having to lose one of "their guys," Sony gets to re-issue full=-priced new Blu's of the Raimi Trilogy now that they're MCU building-blocks, picky fanboys get a "proper" MCU Parker at least for a moment, Miles Morales becomes a massively talked-about figure to a general public that never heard of him and Sony-But-Really-Marvel get's a fresh start for their new series that'll be covered as a colossal event for introducing who will immediately become (with apologies to T'Challa) THE Black Superhero.

Either way, we'll find out what really happens so enough. Unless Marvel just steals this idea.Which isn't going to happen.

REALLY THAT GOOD - New Project Announcement Trailer

This has been in the works for awhile, glad to finally be able to tell you about it:

 
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