Pay attention, kids

With XMas having passed, the web now turns to it's yearly job of try to "top" the famous "Nintendo 64 Kid" video from a few years back. I've seen a bunch already this year, and I was noticing a depressing trend: It's not "cute" with current-gen gaming systems.

Call it nostalgiac projection (i.e. 30something geeks like me liked N64 Kid because "that was us") but, well... seeing this year's crop of kids flipping their shit about an XBox 360 mainly made me think more on the lines of "Great. Dollars-to-donuts that kid is going be cheap-sniping and/or hurling unspecific xenophobic insults at me on Live within a week." Humbug.

But this... this is something else. Take a look:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1926915

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

The "hook" here, if you haven't already seen it, is that the kid gets a 360 (for his birthday, though this is being called an xmas vid all over the web) and what looks like a mega-super-edition of Halo3 and reacts, well... gratefully. As in, instead of losing his shit in a giant joygasm, he's completely overcome with gratitude to his parents for the gift. You kinda have to wait for the last few moments for a bit of info that puts it all in context as to what might've helped shape his Tiny Tim-esque outlook on life, but the main thing is that the kid seems both TOTALLY surprised and accutely aware of what a lavish expense it is for mom and dad - he's got quite the vocabulary for a young kid, but the word "entitled" doesn't seem to be among them.

Kids, watch careful: THIS is what your parents are looking to see when you tear into the "big" gift.

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Escape to the Movies: "Sherlock Holmes"

What, you were expecting me to take the day off?



And here's INTERMISSION, in which I do the year-end top-ten thing:\
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/moviebob/6940-MovieBobs-Best-Of-2009

Merry Christmas! (Or holiday of your choosing, of course.)

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Ornaments

Just in time for the Holidays, here's some fun nonsense courtesy Christopher Knight and the L.A. Times: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/culturemonster/2009/12/a-warhol-christmas-at-the-white-house.html

Short version: The kids over at Andrew Breitbart's twin conservative-entertainment-professional wildlife preserves, "Big Hollywood" and "Big Government," (which politically saavy people, liberals especially, should be checking at least once a day; because it's basically a one-stop source for tomorrow's crazy today) were in a snit about the White House Christmas Tree. Specifically, that newly-minted official-decorator Simon Doohan (an underground-art type, apparently) had included some collage-art ornaments made from image-scraps including a photoshop of Obama on Mt. Rushmore (okay, a little tacky) and transvestite performer Hedda Lettuce (I have no idea.) The worst offense, though, was a fragment of a Chairman Mao pic - further evidence, y'see, of Obama's hidden communism...

...except for the detail that the image in question was actually Andy Warhol's PARODY painting of Mao - the one wherein he defaced the dictator's famous portrait with lipstick and mascara.

Oops.

Scroll down through the comments on Knight's article for Breitbart (who, all kidding aside, strikes me as far too sharp to keep getting caught in this shit - dude needs to crack the whip on his people) making an utter fool of himself defending the "reporting" (best to take the LOW bet on how long it takes for Reducto ad Hiterlium to rear it's head.)

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Karate (?) Kid

Comingsoon has the new trailer for the "Karate Kid" remake, which for those who hadn't heard takes a pretty radical story-deviation from the original: Instead of the titular "kid" (Jaden Smith, son of Will and Jada) moving to a new town, he moves to a new COUNTRY - to China, specifically. Beyond that, the main beats look similar with the kid taking shit from bullies and fighting back by learning martial-arts from Mr. Miyagi - played in this version by Jackie Chan. Yes, Jackie Chan.

Trailer looks like about what you'd expect, right down to that awful song that was overused in every sneaker commercial and highlight reel of the last two years, but it's got my interest for two reasons. Firstly: There looks to be A LOT of location shooting in this, so it's going to be interesting to learn how much (and what kind) of input the Chinese government had over the portrayal of, well... anything. Secondly: It's a little shocking to see Jackie Chan seemingly acting his ass off in the role. You'd think this would be the definition of a "paycheck" part, and Chan has been alarmingly candid about how little regard he has for his English language films, but in the footage here he's playing Miyagi straight and serious with a "patrician hardass" vibe that's worlds away from the fun-loving regular joe guy he plays in... well, pretty-much everything.




For what it's worth, Chan learned HIS craft in the infamously-punishing children's program of the Peking Opera School, meaning he's had lots of experience with rough-hewn, unforgiving instructors of young students; so maybe that's where this surprising-looking spin on Miyagi is coming from.

Oh, and just to get started early on what will easily be the most annoying (yet true) bit of fanboy-bitching of the year right off the bat: WHY is it still called "The Karate Kid" when it no longer has any connection to Japan and they clearly AREN'T using Karate? (I imagine that the filmmakers are smart enough to know this but don't want to lose the title, and furthermore I'd bet that there'll be a running gag about it on the lines of The Kid calling it "Karate" and having to be corrected.)

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Brittany Murphy, RIP

http://www.empireonline.com/news/story.asp?NID=26568

What. The. Fuck?

Not much to say about this save that it sucks. She worked so intermittently (save for a decade of playing Luanne on "King of The Hill") and often in such forgettable projects, people generally overlooked how talented she was.

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Escape to the Movies: "Avatar"

You were expecting, maybe, "Did You Hear About The Morgans?"


http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/escape-to-the-movies/1333-Avatar

And, as always, here's this week's "Intermission" column, which is also (mostly) about "Avatar."

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2 steps forward, 1 step back?

When you're a movie geek, some days look like this:

ITEM: After departing the "X-Men" series to make a perhaps-too-introspective "Superman" movie that me and like five other people still like and, in doing so, freeing up the combined efforts of Tom Rothman and McG to steer the franchise into one of the most spectacular protracted artistic-suicides in memory (seriously, at least the original "Batman" movies ENDED after the fourth one... they made a whole OTHER MOVIE after "X3!!!"); Bryan Singer will apparently RETURN to direct "X-Men: First Class," a prequel (reboot?) with Cyclops, Jean, Storm etc. in their student-age days at the Xavier School. So, "Harry Potter" but with the X-Men. SOLD! Best of all, this almost-certainly means no Wolverine, so the other characters might actually get to DO something for a change.
http://www.joblo.com/singer-back-for-x-men

But then...

ITEM: "Spider-Man 4" is apparently officially "stalled" (as in, not moving forward) because - surprise surprise! - Sony and Sam Raimi are fighting over the villain. Raimi wants Silver Age mainstay "The Vulture," Sony wants... NOT The Vulture. If true, this is exactly what happened with #3: Raimi wanted Sandman and Vulture to continue his preferred trend of using the classic Spidey enemies, Sony (and Marvel) forced his hand for the more marketable Venom. Amazingly, damn near EVERYONE - even non-geeks - is aware that this went down last time, yet they're possibly at it AGAIN? I wonder who the studio-preferred nemesis would be... they wouldn't REALLY try and make him go with the (amazingly even MORE worthless than Venom "Carnage," would they??)
http://iesb.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=7951:spider-man-4-production-on-indefinite-hold&catid=43:exclusive-features&Itemid=73

UPDATE: AICN is reporting that the Spider-Man story isn't true, or rather that the work-stoppage isn't true, since the "arguing over the bad guy" thing has been out there for a few weeks now: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/43405

ALSO, apparently it's called "Spider-M4N" now.

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